Seven Deadly Christmas Sins

Greed

you gonna eat all that?

Someone who thinks they can eat what the fuck they want because it's Christmas and then have the audacity to moan about how hideously corpulent their body has become as a result of the season. Also someone who just wants everything because 'they want it', especially because it's Christmas (perfect excuse to be a greedy asshole, me me me, etc).

Sloth

So lazy, only the animals turned up

Someone so lazy that they never even leave their home. They moan about everything not going their way despite the solution being in GETTING OFF THEIR FUCKING LAZY ASS AND GOING OUT THERE AND DOING SOMETHING.

Lust

A lot of men now would want this for Christmas

Gay men who 'want a relationship' but have needs so keep a Grindr, etc on their phone. People who treat relationships the same way absolute assholes treat cats at Christmas; just for Christmas. Like Greed, people who lust over people like they are possessions, all for their own pleasure and nothing else. 

Wrath

Burn it down

Horrible assholes who treat the hard working and down trodden like shit because they are in a bad mood only to return to their lavish, over dressed and warm homes to indulge in other sin related activities, if not all of them.

Envy

At least he GAVE it back. Some things are never returned. Like my dignity.

Assholes who go out of their way to DESTROY the lives of others because they can't be arsed to go through the tribulations and work of getting what others have themselves. Selfish ugly and smelly twats who are never happy with what god gave them, no matter how grotesque.

Pride

"one for facebook"

People who brag about things, sometimes things that don't behold an ounce of truth, purely to show off and falsely believe that their pride impresses people thus making them more likable. Not at all, asshole.

Gluttony

The Stark Contrast

Like Greed, but people who eat so much they start to physically embody every sin I have listed on here, and at Christmas, the curtain is opened, all is revealed, as these fat, over consumed whales waddle around town treating anything in it's wake like a piece of shit. 

Merry Fucking Christmas

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