Nothing sorts a confused mind out like writing a blog post. It's like telling someone your plans for something just to make more sense of it yourself, you don't actually care if they're listening or not.
A lot has changed since the 17th August, which was my last post. I was besotted with a guy called Aaron, and I thought that I was incredibly happy with him. I was wrong. He broke up with me, but I guess in the long run he was doing us both a favour. I am still sad about it but nowhere near as awful feeling as I have been about other people. I put this down to the relationship being still new and short lived, the mistakes I made which I found embarrassing, my more rational attitude to life, positive thinking AND being incredibly busy. I just didn't have time to feel sorry for myself.
I don't really want to go into much more detail about that. In fact, I don't want to mention it at all. Or anything else that has happened because it's weird but I feel like even though so much has changed and is different, I am already sick of my life. I recently moved to Moseley, which is a sure way of moving in the right direction. Moving to Dickens Heath with my parents could of been one of the worst none-decisions of my life. I live on my own in a small studio apartment style flat in a converted Victorian house. I have my own little kitchen and bathroom and a main room to sleep and live in. I am learning to be patient, as I can't have it how I want it straight away of course. But I did buy a new futon today that turns into a sort of sofa, and on Saturday I will be receiving a huge rug, a microwave and the rest of my stuff from my parents. All I need now is a fridge, a freeze box, a kettle and some sort of transport method for work. I bought a bike off Sarah. It's not good though. I can see why she sold it me for 20 quid.
Work is going fine, much better now I feel more motivated and with it. Though I don't want to talk about work.
A fresh new start is upon me, and a new person I will become. I have the tools and the situation for it, so I am going to become that new person now. I just needed to write this quick update so everyone knows that I am no longer in a relationship or involved with anyone ever, and I no longer dwell or hang on to the past. I am over every single man I was ever in love with. I also need everyone to know that the hellish 8 month mental break down I suffered is also over. I still am recovering from a 'functioning' drug addiction but I am half way there. I no longer feel suicidal or self pitying and I am hoping to last out the rest of the year without going crazy. My hair is growing back and I am self certain once again. I am learning a lesson of patience, values and budgets and I am also teaching myself a lesson of respect and normality. The next time I post on here, it will be from the person of a new start and it will be about the present and my life, not the woes of the past or the hopeless hopes for the future.
Love, Andrew x
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