I am exhausted and frankly quite glad this day is over with now despite not being able to get the trousers that I wanted but in a situation like that where after hours of queuing and resisting the urge to punch a rude Chinese person in the back of the head for lacking the simple concept of patience and manners I put it down to a good reason for them not being available. It sucks that they weren't stocked here in Birmingham, and people who came here today to get stuff were disappointed because up to 9 different items were not provided, because this was the nearest store to them and had traveled a long way to get stuff. It's reassured me I am totally doing the right thing about leaving Birmingham. However, I reckon the trousers I wanted might not of been totally right. I had some doubts when I thought about them about how and what I would wear them with. The jacket and belt, that I bought without a problem, possess an element of sexiness to them, and the jacket is going to be a staple that will age well, I imagine, with wear. By summer the jacket will be an addicted to everyday piece thrown on over anything. The trousers I feared might be too daring and limited in wear, and I think they might not of either looked right or they might of attracted unwanted attention. I still would like to get a pair of wide legged, over-sized trousers... but just not to wear in and around Birmingham, and maybe not for winter time. They might not of been practical. I for some reason see myself wearing trousers like those somewhere in good weather, somewhere relaxed, leisurely and laid back, the background not one I recognise from here.
One of the reasons I was so attracted to these trousers was because they reminded me of a pair of trousers from an outfit bought for me by a guy I was dating when I was about 18. I was out in the Nightingale, back when the Nightingale was still only just an OK place to go, and I received the worst chat up line ever ("YOU would look GREAT in my CAR"). If someone said that to me now I would be so offended, I'd tell them I walk everywhere...which i do... but anyway, for someone who was only 25 at the time he seemed to have a pretty good job , working in music and having worked with Bjork, I was fascinated by this guy who drove a Lotus Elise and promised to buy me a 'cello after seeing me play. Underneath the smothering of goods was a guy who probably did like me, but guess when you get that much money, you want to keep a guy like me kept with treats, which even back then didn't phase me. I was starting to really get into fashion so I was delighted to be bought an outfit for a holiday to Vienna, from Yves Saint Laurent Rive Gauche - a black shirt and black trousers that were slim waisted, wide legged and very baggy. They totally disguised my legs, and they were amazing. They came with a little leather belt. After I broke up with him I had to give them back, which I did, and I didn't feel bad, I didn't deserve them and at the time had nowhere to wear them but I remember how stylish I felt in them, so I guess I wanted something nostalgic from back then. I'm going to keep my eyes open for that sort of style.
I am tempted to look out for a pair of judo trousers, or Japanese combat trousers or ninja trousers and dye them black if they aren't already. I want my legs to be swamped in material and my waist to be bound in. I think that's incredibly sexy.
I would like to get a pair of really nice black jeans, but these days I am not drawn to denim at all. I would like to experiment with more fitted and slimmer fit trousers, but I still want to build a collection of the baggy, ruched and low crotch Vivienne Westwood trousers by trailing on eBay and I want trousers to hang off my body, leaving it all to the imagination, complete opposite to the skinny, low slung denims you see, with the entirety of your underwear on display.
Slim fit and skinny trousers I have always been put off by because I don't like to have the shape of my arse on obvious display from the fit. I feel over exposed and I don't like my clothes to be reason for being visually undressed by others. When I was with Aaron, he said the only reason he liked the jeans he wore was because it made his arse look good, which I can understand, but made me feel that he was cheapened and devalued, like a prize turkey waiting for the winning kill. I obviously look into things like this, and believe I am one of very few people who understand the intelligence in fashion and that you can make choices in a world that people deem frivolous and can actually front you as someone who has more to them than presenting themselves in a way which only makes you want them to imagine them naked.
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