im getting fed up of smoking weed secretly on the balcony that surrounds my parents apartment, so I might go home for a couple of days at some point. I want to avoid spending money and i also want to completely give up doing mcat so its a good idea to keep away from old zones though I am enjoying being at home with the bath and free food. I got an unexpected tax rebait for £725 which was a huge surprise. it;s going towards Brighton. I am so excited now as this is a sign that im choosing the right path and it;s a head start and an encouragement to really do this. i keep fantasising about this person that i want to be, because i think this person is free not from things that are personally connecting him to things here but because he is free of the effect of the horrid popular social culture that dominates here. Brighton is a place for a hundred of the new me copies. I've been unruly, off the rails, I've been down dark avenues to prove. I've laughed at fat people on television and i've seen the signs of ugly inside and out struggle to rear their ugly double-heads in / on me. i sleep with Noah at night and see a future bathed in white walls and light and a sea view where this young person is going to exist. i feel like i am biding time while he waits. its up to me now to plan every detail that is the result of a transition of a life time. how good it will feel to leave that past behind. all the things that i won't have to live with anymore. what a dream, but more so because this dream will be real in 4 months time, and 4 months is only a quarter of a year.
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