I wish I liked my own place. I used to say I wish I had my own place. I now have my own place and don't even want to be there.
I just hope my next place, which I hope to share with people, will be more cozy, and my room will be the kind of place like my room here, somewhere where I can stick glow in the dark stars on the wall and be surrounded by all my favourite things. somewhere that doesn't resemble the room from a mental hospital when you're lying in bed looking up at the ceiling wondering where the hell you could hang a noose from.
I wish I wasn't totally ruined. I used to be financially stable.
At least now I have a good reason to detox and prepare for this job interview. Having money is just another distraction to go out, drink and take drugs. which is all i've been doing since January. Or... well yeah. I need help.
MY detox started today. It's actually more like rehab. Being here means I eat 3 times a day, I am always clean and looking after myself, I am drinking water and not alcohol, I am giving up smoking and I am not doing anything else which is toxic and bad. And my diet will, in time with the detox, start to become healthier. Exercise and swimming is also on the menu too.
I leave you with a photo of Zak Efron naked. I don't know why. It cheered me up though. Never seen anything he's in or not actually sure what he's famous for, all I know is he is hunky and I want to look like him.
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